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The Official Lawyers Joke Book – E-book


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The Official Lawyers Joke Book – E-book

As objects of humor, lawyers follow right in the footsteps of the politicians and doctors. We fight back against the legal practitioners the only way we can — with laughter..

(You wouldn’t want to take them into court, would you?)

Cracking jokes about people you can’t cope with is a time-honored pastime for Americans. Will Rogers, Mark Twain, Josh Billings and Artemus Ward made a handsome living out of doing just that. Their caustic comments on political life made many a politician wince and wish he had a hole to crawl into. But the lawyers, ah, they have been fodder for the comedic cannon since the English barristers first donned their wigs and gowns. *

The following example is documented in a collection of wit and humor from 1899. Its original source can be traced as far back as the 1700’s:

An attorney in Dublin died exceedingly poor. A shilling subscription was re-quested to pay his funeral expenses.

Host of the lawyers and barristers subscribed, and one of them applied to Judge McClannahan, expressing his hope that his lordship would also subscribe his shilling.

“Only a shilling,” said the judge,

“Only a shilling to bury an attorney?

Here is a Guinea! Go bury twenty of them!”

Doctors must deal every day with colds, coughs, and kidney problems; politicians have to cope with pollution, inflation, and taxes. But the lawyers get to do business with folks involved in prostitution, murder and rape — all the fun things.

Consider that these counselors at law must rub elbows with swindlers, robbers, bigamists, connivers, crooks, convicts, hookers, pimps, and drug pushers — the cream of society. Not exactly a life of serenity, and, the lawyer has always had to face the sneers and ridicule of his fellow man, to boot.

There was no better practitioner of humor to illustrate a point than Abraham Lincoln. The following represents his tongue- in-cheek view of the legal profession;

Lincoln was involved in a case to be heard in the local courthouse and so he entered the town’ tavern the evening before.

When Abe reached the inn, the huge fireplace in the sitting room was surrounded by all the other lawyers interested in the case.

“Really cold out, eh?” asked the innkeeper. “Colder than hell,” answered Lincoln.

“You’ve been there, too, Mr. Lincoln?” asked a bystander.

“Oh, yes,” smiled Abe, “and it’s just as it is here. All the lawyers are nearest the fire.”


Here’s a chance to chuckle over some choice lawyer lampooning. This compendium covers every comic aspect of the legal profession including the enormous contributions made by our law enforcement agencies.

According to the American Bar Association the number of lawyers in America is growing far faster than the population.

Today, in the United States, there is one lawyer for every 470 persons. It appears that sooner or later we must all be involved in some form of litigation.

The only thing is that with The Official Lawyers Joke Book in hand, we can now, at least, laugh all the way to the courtroom.

Collected and compiled by Larry Wilde, author of over 50 joke books that have sold more than twelve million copies. See why The New York Times has dubbed him; “America’s Best Selling Humorist”.