The Official Cat Lovers Joke Book – E-book
The Official Cat Lovers Joke Book, by Larry Wilde. The latest e-book release in The Larry Wilde Joke Book Series by Laugh.com!
“It’s raining cats and dogs outside.”
“I know, I just stepped in a poodle.”
Quips about canines and kittys have been making the rounds for centuries. The fun all started when those lovable four-legged creatures were brought into the home as pets. Felis catus was domesticated over 4000 years ago by Egyptians who worshipped the feline as an earthly embodiment of the goddess of fertility and health.
Dogs, on the other hand, are considered to be the first animal domesticized by man, the relationship having begun at least 10,000 years ago. Despite that length of time, there is some conjecture as to just how far each animal has come.
America’s humorists have taken the opportunity to comment on this association. Here is James Thurber on the subject:
The dog has seldom pulled, man up to his level of sagacity, but man, has frequently dragged the dog down t:o his.
When it comes to making caustic comparisons between and humans old Canis Familiaris, Mark Twain is at his best, having contributed this comic critique:
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
El Gato, the cat, has provided comfort and companionship for millions of pet enthusiasts and has also stocked our language with a liberal supply of colorful catchphrases:
Derisive shouts from a crowd are catcalls. Catching forty winks is called a catnap. If you step gingerly on a narrow pathway you’re on a catwalk. When you reveal a secret you’ve let the cat out of the bag.
If you’re an unimaginative imitator you’re a copycat.
If you’re quick tempered and like to brawl you’re a hellcat.
If you’re not a fraidy cat and have cat’s eyes to see in the dark and want to be a thief who scales walls you’ll be known as a cat burglar.
If you had been a devotee of jive or swing music you were a hep cat. Being stodgy and narrow marks you as a heavy cat. If you’re all dressed up in the latest style then you’re a sharp cat. If you’re also famous and have money to bum you’ll be referred to as a fat cat.
Having a pretty face will tab you a glamor puss. Scowling and never smiling will stamp you as a sourpuss. Being dull and boring will brand you a drizzlepuss. If you’re sour-faced and disagreeable, you’ll be called a picklepuss.
A dog had such a high I.Q. that his owner sent him to college. Home for Christmas, the dog admitted he hadn’t learned any history or economics. “But,” he said, “I did make a good start in foreign languages.”
“Okay,” said the owner, “say something in a foreign language.”
The dog said, “Meow!”
Collected and compiled by Larry Wilde, author of over 50 joke books that have sold more than twelve million copies. See why The New York Times has dubbed him; “America’s Best Selling Humorist”.